Chris will tell you all sorts of stories. He will make up random "facts" and tell you to them like they are real.
Cows:
They were handing out fish crackers at recess in Kindergarten. He told them he couldn't eat them because he didn't eat fish, he was a cowatarian. He only eats Papa's cows.
The Civil War:
We were driving and Chris saw a bill board that has a President's picture on it with big ears. He said "That doesn't look like Lincolnham." The conversation goes on to Chris explaining that
Lincolnham is a zombie killer that was half President Lincoln and half President Washington. Why is his name Linconham and not Lincolnton? I asked the same question. Because President Washington loved ham. How did Chris know that he loved ham? President Washington hunted pigs and if you shoot it you have to eat it. So he wouldn't have shot a pig if he didn't like it. So why is Lincolnham a zombie killer? Because the zombie's were eating people's brains and telling them it was ok to have slaves. So the zombie killers gathered people to fight the zombies and let the slaves go. The zombie killer Lincolnham won the civil war and that's why we don't have slaves and zombies. I asked him if he learned that in school and he said "yes but they totally left out the zombie part." They are studying Native Americans this week... nothing to do with the Civil War.
Bucket Filler-
They do the 7 habit of highly effective Students at the boy's school. One of the habits is being a bucket filler, meaning you build people up.
I had put the kids to bed I was putting laundry away watching a crime show. Chris walked to ask for something right as a man was chasing a woman with butcher knife. Chris looked up at the TV and said without missing a beat "He is sooo not being bucketfiller!"
COMPANIONS WITH A MASS MURDERER (not clickbate)
6 years ago