Sunday...

The day after we got back from Hurricane I had to speak in Sacrament Meeting. They asked me to speak on blessings that come from fulfilling your callings. So below is my talk.   The rest of my family didn't come because they were sick. Well, Seth was and Lexi was. Seth was achey and was really congested. Lexi has a horrible cough. She started out congested and it spread into her lungs.

 So after church Sam stayed home with the kids and I took Lexi to the Dr. They gave her a breathing treatment and some steroids. Hopefully it will clear up.

After taking Lexi to the Dr. I delivered some pears and other random produce around the neighborhood.
Then Papa Mogel came over and helped Sam give Lexi a blessing.

So here's  the talk.

Good afternoon. I have to say that I feel a little in adequate being up here to speak to all of you, I feel as if there are many more people in the congregation that have much more spiritual strength and knowledge for you to glean from than I do but for a reason unbeknownst to me I have been asked to speak. And with the feeling of total inadequacy I pray that as I share my testimony of the blessings that our Father in Heaven sends from fulfilling our callings that you will be uplifted and touched by the Spirit and make up for where I fall short.

I really wanted to be able to just stand up here and read the many stories I found about how if you fulfill your callings you will get tangible blessings, there were so many examples of things like took a week of off work even though the budget couldn’t afford it to go to scout camp and somehow was able to meet all the bills.  Or how you love the ones you serve so great relationships come out of it. But the more of those stories I read as I wrote my talk I just kept feeling like I needed to remind myself and whoever is listening that sometimes the intangible blessings are the most needed and sometimes go unnoticed or appreciated. So that’s the direction my talk is taking.

I’ll start with the story of Jacob from the Book of Mormon. He was the younger brother of Nephi. Jacob loved his brothers. All of them, even Laman and Lemuel, even if they didn’t live the laws of our Heavenly Father. He was torn whom to serve, which side to be on. He knew he was called to serve our Father in Heaven. He witnessed miracles, he followed in faith as his family left Jerusalem and he did all that he could to ease the family strife between his brothers.

On top off everything going on in Jacob’s family He is called to prophesy of the coming of Christ. Now if I were Jacob I really think that my Father in Heaven and I would have had a conversation where I question what he is thinking calling me to this calling. After all Jacob’s older brother is Nephi and he was doing a great job preaching. What did he need Jacob for? To draw a parallel to the story of Jacob, when I was called to be Girls Camp Assistant something or other I was called with Donna Gubler. Donna is wonder woman. She has so many talents that I cannot begin to compare. She sings beautifully, she has spiritual depth that I can only dream of achieving, she is Mother of the year and the list of her talents can do on and on and on. So when I was called with her I was a little intimidated. Not because Donna did anything but because I was so unsure of my own divine qualities that I could share with the girls. So my Father in Heaven and I had to have a conversation I envision Jacob having with him. I asked my Father in Heaven what could I possibly share. I had a baby less than a year old, a special needs daughter, another toddler, I was barely keeping my head above water most days and he wanted me to leave me family for a week to try to influence the Young Woman most of which I was sure had stronger testimonies than I did. I just couldn’t understand it. I will tell you that I went to Girls Camp still not sure why I was there. I had decided that I was just a warm body that they needed to supervise my daughter so she didn’t have as many problems as the year before, to this day I still believe that slightly even if Sister Conners strongly disagrees with me. I went feeling like I was less than, I was never going to be able to up lift the girls like Sachi and Jenny, or make them laugh like Candace, I was never going to be able to make anything as adorable as Emily. I went sure that I was just a warm body to fill a space. But the blessing I received from going was a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father. While I was there I received the tender reassurance from my Father in Heaven that I was right I was never going to make a good Donna, or an amazing Sachi or any of the other leaders that went. But, all I needed to be was Andrea and I was doing ok I was reassured that I too had divine qualities they just didn’t need to shine the same as everyone else. So blessing 1 from fulfilling my calling, an opportunity for a closer relationship with my father in Heaven and a tender reassurance that I was doing ok.    

In Jacob chapter 6, Jacob he tries to fulfill his calling, he preaches, he tries to tell them how they will be blessed if they follow  “^ablessed are they who have labored ^bdiligently in his vineyard” 4  And how merciful is our God unto us, for he remembereth the house of ^aIsrael,. And how they will be cursed if they don’t. Jacob gets discouraged because he feels like no one is listening; he’s not making a difference. So in Jacob 6:12 he says “O be wise; what can I say more.” When I read that I can hear him in my head sounding defeated. Like what more do you want me to say I have nothing more to give.  My next parallel is again with Girls Camp I survived the first year and begged to be released, I told Bishop I had nothing more to give, they didn’t need me. I was defeated. I had just miscarried, I still had my hands full with  the 3 kids we had. I just couldn’t do it. So when Bishop told me NO, he really felt like I needed to go again. I was defeated. I again went to my Father in Heaven and asked for help. I was humbled. I couldn’t do this alone. I remember being on my knees and wondering if my Father in Heaven knew who I was. And if he knew I was having a hard time. And I received that realization/reminder that he did. He knew me. He knew what I was going through. When I think of that moment a poem always comes to my mind. I’ll just share part of it.

I’m just one of the ninety and nine
I have stumbled and fallen, but I’ve kept in line
I’m not one he must seek; I’m not all that unique
I’m just one of the ninety and nine
So why am I feeling like I’m the only one here
It’s like I’m his favorite
And he takes me aside, and he sweetly confides
These remarkable words in my ear
You are one of the ninety and nine
Have you any idea how brightly you shine?
You are safe in this fold, and it’s time you are told
That I know where you’ve been so I know where you’ll be
Because all of your life you’ve been following me
You are more than just one of the sands of the sea
Or just one of the ninety and nine
You are mine

Again it was my calling that allowed me to have the opportunity to strengthen my relationship with my Father in Heaven and have him extend me a tender mercy to reassure me that he knows me he knows what I am doing and how hard I am trying and he’s not going to let me fail. Blessing number 2.

So back to Jacob…Then when Jacob is ready to throw in the towel because he is so frustrated that no one is listening, Heavenly Father pushes him farther. In comes Sherem, he denies Christ, he demands a sign. And Jacob being down calls upon his Father in Heaven for help. Our Father in Heaven’s power came upon Sherem and he later denied all he had said and help convert many others. In Jacob 7:22 Jacob says “Now, this thing was pleasing unto me, Jacob, for I had requested it of my Father who was in heaven; for he had heard my cry and answered my prayer.”  He fulfilled his calling, his prayer was answered, his faith boosted up. My parallel still was that same year at girl’s camp. I had told Bishop I would go.  But a few weeks before Camp I found out I was pregnant. Now for most a positive pregnancy test is a joyous thing. And it was for us too. But a pregnancy for me comes with many many risks, to my health and the health of the child. I didn’t want to tell anyone we were pregnant because then if this pregnancy ended in a miscarriage like many other had I didn’t want to have to tell anyone. This pregnancy was my challenge. It was pushing me farther than I thought I could handle. Like Jacob I had had my realization that my Father in heaven was there and that he knew who I was. But if he knew why was he making it harder. So I prayed again, and again. And you know what I survived girls camp, I was able to maintain the pregnancy and I was blessed with my beautiful little girl. And just like Jacob I don’t know if I touched anyone else’s life or just that one. But to Jacob saving Sherem’s was enough. And the blessing of my little girl is too. Blessing number 3, your heavenly father does know who you are and knows even better than yourself your limits and what you are able to achieve.

This story of Jacob makes me think that if a prophet can feel discouraged and overwhelmed by his calling. That a prophet feels like his family having drama and feels like he is being pulled between all of these obligations then maybe it’s ok if I do to. If I remember that I can call on my Father in Heaven for help. He loves me. He’s not going to set me up to fail. He’s not going to leave me alone.  He’s giving me an opportunity to learn and grow. (Sometimes more than I care to).  And that’s one of the main blessings that I have gotten from different callings that I have had. I have been humbled by the call, reminded that I can’t do it all and given an opportunity to become closer to my Heavenly Father as I depend on him for help to fulfill my calling. President Monson said “At times the wisdom of God appears as being foolish or just too difficult, but one of the greatest and most valuable lessons we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and a man obeys, that man will always be right” And we just have to trust in that.

Satan isn’t going to give up that easily though. He’s going to continue to whisper all of those lies to you. He’s going to want to make you feel insignificant, unworthy and unimportant. And I start to think but Jacob is a prophet I’m just me, I’m just a visiting teacher, I’m just a Scout Leader, I’m just a Primary Worker, I’m just a... I’m never going to be a Prophet or a Bishop or a Relief Society President. I try to justify my feelings of in adequacy by saying I’m just a… But that’s not the way the Lord’s Church works there are no I’m just a callings. Christ went to people’s homes to bless and teach them, just a like a home or visiting teacher does. Christ taught the children just like a primary worker. Would you look at Christ and tell him what he was doing wasn’t important.   In D&C 1:38  it says. “What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my ^aword shall not pass away, but shall all be ^bfulfilled, whether by mine own ^cvoice or by the ^dvoice of my ^eservants, it is the ^fsame.”

The church is not based on prestige. It’s not like the rest of the world, where the most popular, richest, strongest, prettiest or fastest person wins a popularity contest to get the leadership position. It’s not high school; it’s not a political election. It’s a calling extended from our Father in Heaven. “The common denominator that binds us all together is the individual call each of us receives to fill the assignments in God’s kingdom her upon the earth.“ In the Lord’s kingdom a call is a call. And who the Lord calls is up to him. It a comfort to me knowing that he knows my limitations, my strengths, what I have to share and what I need to learn at that point in my life and gives me the call according to that. Because I’m “just a…” doesn’t make me any less special in the Lord’s kingdom. In fact it means just the opposite. It’s a constant reminder that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me. That he is extending another tender mercy from fulfilling my calling is the reassurance that my Father in Heaven has enough faith in me to trust me with his work, no matter what it is.

I’ll return to the story of Jacob one more time. He had fulfilled his calling. In Jacob 7:27 he says “ And I, Jacob, saw that I must soon go down to my grave; wherefore, I said unto my son ^aEnos: Take these ^bplates. And I told him the things which my brother Nephi had ^ccommanded me, and he promised obedience unto the commands. And I make an end of my writing upon these plates, which writing has been ^dsmall; and to the reader I bid farewell, hoping that many of my brethren may read my words. Brethren, adieu.” He’s done what he is supposed to do and it’s time to be released. When I read this I again picture him writing with some emotion, and when he says it’s small to me it might mean that he is letting on that he doesn’t feel like he did much. But it was the best he could do. So here’s my parallel. This year for girls camp I was released after a little bit of begging. The girls and leaders went and had a great time. When they returned multiple people who attended made comments that they had missed me but so and so made it great. I had an opportunity I could take those comments not in the spirit of how it was meant and have my feelings hurt because someone fulfilled that calling so much better than I did or I can find comfort in the fact that the weight of the church isn’t on my shoulders.  I listened to the again the tender reassurance of my Heavenly Father and  I found comfort in that this church is organized so that when I’m not strong enough there is someone there that can fill the space I left.

 President Monson said“When a call comes to you and to me, what will be our response? Will we murmur, as did Laman and Lemuel, and say, “This is a hard thing required of us”?⁷ Or will we, with Nephi, individually declare, “I will go. I will do”? Will we be willing to serve and to obey? …The world is in need of our help. Are we doing all we should? Do we remember the words of President John Taylor: “If you do not magnify your callings, God will hold you responsible for those whom you might have saved had you done your duty”?¹⁴ There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save. The blessings of eternity await you. Yours is the privilege to be not spectators but participants on the stage of church service. Let us hearken to the stirring reminder found in the Epistle of James: “Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”¹⁵